Growing godly relationships: 5 important things to teach your child about being a good friend ❤️
As parents, we want our children to feel loved and respected by their peers.
We want them to enjoy a sense of belonging and grow lifelong friendships because we know relationships are critical for their wellbeing and quality of life. But like any life-skill, kids tend to thrive when they have the guidance and example of loving parents.
While certain kids will have an easier time naturally making and keeping friends, every child can grow in this area. Here are five important things you can teach your children about making and growing godly friendships.
To have friends, be a good friend.
It’s cliche I know, but only because it’s true. The best way to make friends is to be friendly. Has your child ever said “No one wants to be my friend.” That’s not uncommon, but could it be because they are waiting for others to make the first move? Help your child learn to be friendly and reach out to others by demonstrating it for them. Smile and strike up a conversation in the grocery line or at your favorite restaurant. Share a resource with your neighbor. Be generous with your compliments to others, including your child. These examples of friendliness and kindness will sow seeds into their lives.
It’s also important to have regular discussions about the qualities that make a good friend. In this way you are teaching them how to be a good friend but also what a good friend should look like for them, which will help them set healthy relationship boundaries as they mature.
So what do good friends do?
They listen to each other.
They celebrate each other.
They stand together.
They say sorry when they hurt or offend each other.
They encourage and pray for each other.
Be quick to forgive.
All friends will bicker at times. Learning to forgive is one of the most important lessons we can teach our kids because the Bible is very clear about not harboring bitterness but forgiving others. In fact, it goes as far to say we must bless our enemies. “Bear with one another and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13). Even the best of friends will make mistakes and hurt those they love. Share your own experiences and struggles with your child when appropriate. Your transparency will bring comfort knowing they are not alone. Brainstorm ways with them to get past the struggle to forgive..
Don’t compromise your character to fit in.
It’s far too easy for kids to go along with the crowd to be accepted. Let’s teach our kids to be courageous and willing to stand out. Having lots of friends can be a blessing, but not at the expense of doing what they know is right. This isn’t an easy lesson to learn, but your support as a parent, knowing that you have their back, will go a long way to help them make this hard decision when necessary. Psalm 119:1-3 “Joyful are people of integrity, who follow the instructions of the Lord. Joyful are those who obey his laws and search for him with all their hearts. They do not compromise with evil, and they walk only in his paths.”
Choose your friends wisely.
The Bible is clear about this. It says in first Corinthians 15:33 “Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” And in Proverbs 22:24-25, “Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.”
Friends will have a profound influence on your child’s life. I know from personal experience just how profound it can be, as it was ungodly Influences that drew me away from the Lord and into a season of rebellion. As parents, You have the role and the right to speak into your child’s friendships, particularly when your kids are young. Know who your kids are hanging out with, what they are doing, and if these friends have similar values. The key is keeping the lines of communication open with your children, letting them know that you are operating from a place of love and concern for them. When you can, pray with them to ask God to provide godly relationships.
Remember Jesus is your ultimate friend.
Teach your children from an early age that Jesus is the best friend they could ever know, and tell them often how much you love them. Kids who know they are valued and loved at home and by God will have a much easier time making new friends. They will be more secure in their Psalm 139 identity, as a beloved child of God, created by Him on purpose and for a good purpose. They will also be less likely to look to their peers for things that only God can truly give. So, tell your child every day you love them, and remind them that God’s love for them is never changing, never failing, and never ending.
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